Finishing my Journey

Goal Setting, Motivation, Time


The first time I saw Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need, I was in junior high school. I was very interested in the peak of the pyramid – Self Actualization.  Before I had a clue as to what it meant, I knew I wanted to reach this level.

As an adult, I totally understand each level of this hierarchy.  In fact, I feel as though I have been all over this thing.  It all depends on the season I am experiencing in my life.  While mine and most people’s physiological needs – food, water, and sleep are met, there are a lot of missed opportunities in the other areas.  Often we rise and fall within these areas.  There are times when I did not necessarily feel safe, or my self-esteem was in extremely low and fragile.  Ultimately for me, the goal has been to reach that pinnacle of self-actualization. For me, the journey is best defined by the title of my blog:  Pain, Passion, and Purpose.

“What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization…It refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.”

So, this is what drives me – to do and become my personal best. Not only am I interested in this for myself, but I am driven to coach and develop others in this area.  It is how I think and function consistently.  Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by this desire because I am a ‘big picture’ visionary person.  I see myself helping others on a grand scale and making a significant overall contribution.

So, what does all of this mean and why is it important for me to share this?

 It’s been a week since I last blogged.  I was caught in a cycle of analyzing myself  to determine my next steps in life.  I am 48 years old, and have basically had the same dreams since childhood.  My inner spirit will not let me rest.  I must walk out my purpose or else!  It is becoming more and more intense. 

My husband recently asked me, “Are you living out your passion within God’s will for your life’s direction?”

I had to ponder that one for a moment.  I interpreted that question to mean, “…am I walking in the purpose God created me for?”  I believe that I have been on this journey for a lifetime and yet to arrive at that place.  When I gave it more in-depth thought and even prayed about it, my answer came quickly.  I haven’t arrived because I keep stopping along the way.  As I think back over my life, I have attempted many times to really do the work that I love and that fulfills me.  I always end up stopping and getting a J-O-B that pays the bills.  I call this “survival mode”.  This never fully satisfies me.

Over the course of this last week since I last blogged, I have been told by three different people, and read in my previous journals a few more times, that, “…finishing things has not been a strength of mine”.  I tend to start out with a lot of energy and then something happens and I lose interest and just stop.  This is one of the reasons I wanted to blog.   I believed that it would connect me with enough people who would eventually be there to encourage me too.  Yes, I could just stop blogging and not return, but that will not happen.  I will not let my readers and fellow bloggers down; and more importantly, I can not let myself down any longer.


I am not getting off that track this time.  If you are following my posts, feel free to comment and hold me accountable!  Oh yeah, I did take a break from the gym for a few days too.  Tomorrow morning, I have a 7:30 am appointment with the personal trainer.    I am still working on my health and transforming my body.  Now that I am super aware of my tendency to just ‘STOP’, I will not do it.  I am appreciative of my husband and my good friends for keeping it real with me.  I really see how this is the beginning of something great. 

Stay tuned – follow me!  I love and need your support (there I am in the middle of the pyramid).

Grass is Greener

Goal Setting

I love the statement of the grass is greener where you water it. That is awesome.

Do you realize how incredible blessed you are? How blessed we are? I know that I am blessed far more than I deserve. While I know how blessed I am, I sometimes find myself thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. I fail to see many of my daily blessings because I am so focused on what I think my blessings are supposed to look like. But the Lord is working on my heart. Through books like Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts” & verses from His Word He is teaching me to focus on my blessings. Because the grass isn’t greener on the other side, the grass is greener where I water it.

Today focus on your blessings. And remember, the grass is greener where you water it.

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Body, Exercise, Goal Setting

We must define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us.”

~Edward Lewis,publisher at Essence Magazine

 The last few days have been extremely revealing to me.  I have always been one who would self-reflect and self-correct.  Self-development may mean many things to others, but to me it is simply GROWTH.  As I age and mature, I realize that my growth is dependant upon how I choose to handle experiences: good and bad.  Since I desire to CREATE AN AMAZING LIFE, I am open to many different experiences and what I call the ‘pain to gain expressway’


On Monday, I was on the eliptical in the gym listening to music with my Skullcandy headphones on.  I was feeling good.  As each song played, I sped up or slowed down to the beat of the music.  My personal playlist became my guide.  I closed my eyes and I was in a club on the dance floor all alone.  It was an amazing experience.  I am such a visionary that everything I do and experience is played out mentally on a ‘big screen’ in my mind.  It was so much fun! 

I danced and danced for 40 minutes on that machine. 

Stay down – Mary J Blige ~ Until You come Back to Me – Aretha Franklin ~ I Wanna Be Down, What About Us, Full Moon, Have You Ever – Brandy ~ I’ll Be There, I Still Believe – Mariah Carey ~ and so on…


At the end of that workout, I had a revelation.  Although I was winded, and looked like a sweaty wet freak, I was happy that I was able to morph the experience into something enjoyable and persevere.  I got it – total clarity!  Now, I know what to do and how to overcome that aspect of my workout.  It just keeps getting better as I allow myself to be free and embrace this aspect of transforming my self.

How do you take yourself to the next level during difficult times?  How does your past define you now? Any revelations?




You Are


Fail to Plan – Plan to Fail


This morning, I feel GREAT!!!! 

Up early and ready to get my weekend started (once I get off of work today).  I love those days when I am super-productive at the start of my day! 

If you read my Emergenetics Profile, you know that structure is not an easy road for me.  Getting up early and preparing ahead is essential to my success. 

Morning prayer, blogging, gym, preparation of lunch, laundry, etc…is required for me to maintain all that I have going on. 



This Morning

Amazing homemade healthy brown fried rice!

Leggings? Really!

Body, Exercise, Fashion


Today, my confidence is at an all time high! 

I am wearing leggings and a short dress.  I have already been told a few times that I am looking cute today.  Why is this significant?  Well, it’s my first time in my adult life wearing them in public.  You see, for years, I have been of the opinion, “…just because it stretches, doesn’t mean it has to”.

So far, this week I have made it to the gym daily and feeling very comfortable in my clothes.  I am able to once again wear some of my old outfits and items that I bought but was afraid to wear. 

I am adjusting to a new mindset when it comes to my self-image.  Often I have seen women who I believe were too overweight to wear certain outfits, yet they do it with confidence.  This always perplexed me.  Over time, I learned to admire their self -esteem to pull it off.  Now, I realize that it was my own self-image that distorted my view.  Because I lacked the courage and confidence, I wanted others to do the same (subconsciously of course). 

Low self-esteem and a distorted view of self can be so destructive in ones life.  It impacts your family, relationships, career, and overall happiness.

As I continue to CREATE AN AMAZING LIFE for myself, I am much more aware of this.  I am enjoying my day in leggings and look forward to boldly going in fashion where I haven’t gone before!  What about you?

15 Pounds Eliminated!

Body, Exercise, Goal Setting, Nutrition
Improved weight and blood pressure!

Improved weight and blood pressure!

On 4/3/13 – I awoke with chest tightness and shortness of breath.  For the first time, I was afraid.  That is the moment I promised myself that I would transform my health.  On 4/24/13 – Experienced sharp side pain that reinforced I must improve my health!

High blood pressure, sleep apnea, obesity, thyroid issues, and so on and so on…

As you know, I joined the gym and I began to eat clean.


Today, my doctor was pleased that I have eliminated 15 pounds from my body and my blood pressure was PERFECT!

As I continue to treat my body well all other issues will also be eliminated!  This is wonderful news. 

I told you that I was well on my way to CREATING AN AMAZING BODY AND LIFE!

My Emergenetics Profile

Career, Goal Setting, Time
My Emergenetics Profile

My brain – the way I am wired!

Last September, I had the privilege of experiencing Emergenetics

This was a total confirmation of how I perceived myself.  It was so accurate it blew me away!  For some reason, I was excited to share this information with my co-workers, friends, and family.  It was validation – I am conceptual and social.  

What is Emergenetics?

According to their website, it is defined as, ” …a brain-based psychometric assessment that highlights thinking and behavior…a clearer understanding of how people live, work, communicate, and interact.”

Why is this important?

Well, my blog is titled Pain, Passion, and Purpose.

It has a lot to do with who I am.  My past experiences led me to this place of desiring to transform my life.  Also, to be understood and more importantly to be able to serve others and get them to the place of desiring transformation.  I am very passionate about this.  It is my PURPOSE!  I know that now.  How?  Because I have paid close attention to the patterns in my life – good and bad. 

I have loved people my entire life.  I have always shared hope with others that there is a better way.  Even though I experienced pain (childhood family dysfunction, longing for my biological father, multiple mid-term miscarraiges, spiraling downward due to poor choices on my part, etc…), I still have HOPE and believe strongly that I along with others can achieve greatness by CREATING for themselves THE AMAZING LIFE they deserve!

My Emergenetics Profile validated the visionary that I am.  I see the big picture and always have.  My ultimate struggle has been structure and details.  I will blog more about this in the near future.  At this time, I merely want to further introduce myself to you.

If any of this resonates with you, please comment and share your thoughts and/or experiences.

Week 3 – Gym – Keep it Up!

Body, Exercise, Goal Setting

Last week I came to the gym 2 out of 5 days. I justified it because I was facilitating training on my day job. I am a Training Specialist at a college. I need to come in earlier on the days I facilitate. This threw my schedule off and impacted my momentum.

Yesterday, I returned after being away for 4 days. It was tough! I was dragging and felt like I was starting over. I hated that feeling. I worked hard and was so proud of myself for my first week’s achievement. Lesson learned!

Today, day 2 of week 3, I am determined to get back on track to CREATING AN AMAZING BODY.

Momentum must be maintained. Now I know why people often say as parting words when you share how good you are doing, “keep it up”. It’s tough for some of us to keep it up, but it’s a requirement!