Finishing my Journey
The first time I saw Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need, I was in junior high school. I was very interested in the peak of the pyramid – Self Actualization. Before I had a clue as to what it meant, I knew I wanted to reach this level.
As an adult, I totally understand each level of this hierarchy. In fact, I feel as though I have been all over this thing. It all depends on the season I am experiencing in my life. While mine and most people’s physiological needs – food, water, and sleep are met, there are a lot of missed opportunities in the other areas. Often we rise and fall within these areas. There are times when I did not necessarily feel safe, or my self-esteem was in extremely low and fragile. Ultimately for me, the goal has been to reach that pinnacle of self-actualization. For me, the journey is best defined by the title of my blog: Pain, Passion, and Purpose.
“What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization…It refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.”
So, this is what drives me – to do and become my personal best. Not only am I interested in this for myself, but I am driven to coach and develop others in this area. It is how I think and function consistently. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by this desire because I am a ‘big picture’ visionary person. I see myself helping others on a grand scale and making a significant overall contribution.
So, what does all of this mean and why is it important for me to share this?
It’s been a week since I last blogged. I was caught in a cycle of analyzing myself to determine my next steps in life. I am 48 years old, and have basically had the same dreams since childhood. My inner spirit will not let me rest. I must walk out my purpose or else! It is becoming more and more intense.
My husband recently asked me, “Are you living out your passion within God’s will for your life’s direction?”
I had to ponder that one for a moment. I interpreted that question to mean, “…am I walking in the purpose God created me for?” I believe that I have been on this journey for a lifetime and yet to arrive at that place. When I gave it more in-depth thought and even prayed about it, my answer came quickly. I haven’t arrived because I keep stopping along the way. As I think back over my life, I have attempted many times to really do the work that I love and that fulfills me. I always end up stopping and getting a J-O-B that pays the bills. I call this “survival mode”. This never fully satisfies me.
Over the course of this last week since I last blogged, I have been told by three different people, and read in my previous journals a few more times, that, “…finishing things has not been a strength of mine”. I tend to start out with a lot of energy and then something happens and I lose interest and just stop. This is one of the reasons I wanted to blog. I believed that it would connect me with enough people who would eventually be there to encourage me too. Yes, I could just stop blogging and not return, but that will not happen. I will not let my readers and fellow bloggers down; and more importantly, I can not let myself down any longer.
I AM CREATING AN AMAZING LIFE and HELPING OTHERS DO THE SAME.
I am not getting off that track this time. If you are following my posts, feel free to comment and hold me accountable! Oh yeah, I did take a break from the gym for a few days too. Tomorrow morning, I have a 7:30 am appointment with the personal trainer. I am still working on my health and transforming my body. Now that I am super aware of my tendency to just ‘STOP’, I will not do it. I am appreciative of my husband and my good friends for keeping it real with me. I really see how this is the beginning of something great.
Stay tuned – follow me! I love and need your support (there I am in the middle of the pyramid).