I have not blogged for a few days. Perhaps because I am overwhelmed with tasks and responsibility. Oh! That is an excuse! I’m been listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s audiobook, Excuses Begone and reading Organize Now!, written by Jennifer Ford Berry.
I started listening to Excuses Begone first which led me to realize that I am often excusing myself or making excuses for why I can not or have not done something. It’s the usual: I am in school; I am tired; I teach school; I am a mother; I am overweight; I have a hernia; I am 51 years old; blah, blah, blah…
So, as I began to eliminate excuses from my repertoire, it was only in word – my deeds were still cluttered and confusing. What to do and when. In addition to that, I realized I was not blogging. I love to blog! I love reading blogs! So, I am falling behind in school. Teaching is becoming frustrating (not because of the kids) because of the administrative side. My new healthy nutritional lifestyle was starting to slip and I was diagnosed at a recent emergency room visit as hypertensive (high blood pressure). Really?
I found Organize Now! on a bookshelf at Fedex at a moment when I was searching for a message or something to inspire me to make another change in my life. That is my pattern: pain, passion, and purpose.
It’s painful for me to feel out of control and detached from what I love. My son is graduating from high school and he needs me to help him navigate at this critical point in his life. My husband and I are reconciling after a two year separation. My mother and I are finally “getting along” enough to have a friendship at this stage in our lives. I desire to be the best Middle School Teacher I can be for the kids. This means finishing the teaching internship and graduating in December, 2016. There is so much more to me and what I am capable of. I am passionate about helping people, but I must help myself first.
I just read on a blog, Survivor Road, “I am grateful for their willingness to go beyond simple text and actually give glimpses into the person behind the words.” The author, Marcus, was referring to blogs he nominated for an award. I realize that it is risky to actually give glimpses into one’s self, but it is therapuetic.
Today, I am challenged to do an enormous amount of coursework in an effort to catch up for my teaching internship. Not an excuse, but reality. I must reboot and make it happen. I realize that blogging inspires me because I am passionate about people and connectedness – whether one or fifty people read this post, I have connected with someone and that feels good.
Thanks Marcus for inspiring me to give a glimpse of myself today! I believe I will continue…