Intro to my authentic self…

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Authentic Me

For many years, I did not recognize Father’s Day as anything special to observe.  In fact, I would say this day meant nothing to me as my father had not been in my life.  My mother and he never married; they split before I was born.  When I was around 6 months old, my mother married my first step-father.  When I was eleven, she married my second step-father.

Despite our physical separation, my biological father was a strong influence in my life.  I imagined his presence for every important occasion.  I knew he would be proud of me; because I was, according to my mother, “just like my father.”  So, I decided in my thirties that I had to find my father.  In 2012, I found my family and was informed of my father’s death.  It happened when I was 12 years old – all those years I thought he was alive and did not care to find me.

***

My son graduating from high school triggered something in me that I could not explain.  It was a happy time, but I was hyper-focused on him becoming an adult and leaving the nest eventually.  Also, my role as a teacher weighed heavily on my mind.  The students promoting to high school – how would life turn out for them?  I want to hold on to them to insure as they are going to be alright – meaning: persevere, and succeed by ultimately graduating from high school.  I care enough to follow them for a lifetime.

***

I felt driven to do something…make a difference…inspire change in a huge way!  Drowning in my thoughts daily, I realize that ultimately I was in search of my authentic self.  Is it rooted in my father’s identity?

My father’s side of the family warmly embraced me and provided important clues that confirmed that I was indeed “just like him.”  To me, this was a good thing.  Despite his obvious shortcomings – he represented so much more to me than anyone realized.

I personally have never been upset with my father for not being in my life.  Perhaps because the last time I saw him, I was 8 years old, and he was so warm and kind.  I held on to the memory of his strong voice and kneeling to meet my eye level.

It was mother who controlled our relationship because my stepfather wouldn’t allow it.  I heard the adults talking and knew I was lied to about my father – they tried to tell me he was an uncle.  My stepfather’s insecurity kept us apart.

***

In 2012, when I realized that my father had died, I was so sad.  I wished he’d gotten to know me.  I wanted to tell him all the good things I had accomplished.  My father’s strength, intelligence, risk-taking, and most of all, loyalty and no nonsense way of being confirmed I would have been a daddy’s girl. This was so significant because my mother and I never really bonded.  I needed my father to fill that void.

The sum total of my life experiences forced me to examine my authentic self.  Not the person that people think I am, but who I genuinely know myself to be.

As I take a personal inventory, I realize that my career as a teacher is more than fulfilling.  I get excited Sunday evenings because I know I will see my kiddos on Monday.  My finances could stand to improve, but I am not really money-centric.  My health definitely needs to improve – focus is on my blood pressure more than anything else.  I have wonderful close friends and a tremendous family (on my father’s side especially).  I have loved my husband for the last 13 years without fail through ups and downs – but we are in a great place now.  My home and living situation is where I need it to be at the present time.

Now, I can get down to business and determine what I am really going to do with the rest of my life.  Meaning – define my purpose and walk it out  – my authentic self is ready…

I will continue to blog about my journey.  I look forward to your comments along the way.

 

 

Qualities one should possess to become a leader

I love this message – so I’m sharing it!

Motivation & Personality development

Winning hearts is as tough as winning a war. One does need weapons to win a war, in the same way some qualities are needed to win over hearts. A ruler can influence people only when he is in power, but a leader can influence even if he don’t have any power.

What are those qualities one should possess to become a leader? These are some of the qualities that differs a leader from a follower:

  • Confidence
  • Positive attitude
  • Empathy

 Confidence:

“If you think you can, you’re true. If you think you can’t, you’re true. It depends on your mind.”

One should be highly-confident, if he wants to be a leader. If the leader is confident, group will automatically gain confidence. For example, if Gandhi himself is not confident in his methods of getting independence, would anyone have followed him?

So, how to be confident? A lower self-esteem always…

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