I was recently at a professional development session for teachers. The presenter, who I believe meant no harm in her statement, suggested that we just get over our own childhood trauma.
She followed up by saying, “… your parents probably don’t remember anyway.”
As I pondered this notion, questions flooded my mind:
- Should we just get over it?
- What does that mean?
- How does one go about ‘just getting over it’?
- When you just get over it – does that make it go away?
- Is there a residual effect?
- Do you feel better?
- Is it bad for me to share my experiences?
Over the years, I attempted to “just get over” situations and circumstances that impacted me. It certainly sounds easy enough.
Here is what I realized:
- If you become emotional when you think about those events in your life and emotions are triggered, you aren’t over it.
- When people say, “…just get over it”, they feel some kind of way about it.
- they don’t know what to say
- how to help you
- can’t relate
- it’s conflicting with the agenda they have set before you in life
- or, they are the perpetrator and they want off the hook!
- Getting over it is sometimes “stuffing or burying it alive” which manifests into physical illnesses
The people that I coach are those who genuinely want to expose those pain points and do the work to resolve the feelings, get a healthier perspective, and maybe even develop a passion to help others take those same steps.
I realize there are many people who are completely comfortable with their lives. If you are that person who has done the work, meaning dealt with the issues and placed them in proper perspective in your life – then this isn’t for or about you. However, I would caution you to be careful with minimizing the effort it took to get to that place. We are all at different places on the continuum of life! Some people need more support than others to make it through the storms they encounter.
Today, I am a great deal more patient and understanding of others as a result of the work I have put in to be more resilient. I developed a passion for helping hurting people to overcome and thrive above and beyond anything they dreamed possible.
No matter the age or stage of your life, it’s not too early or late to thrive!