Step 5 – Forgiving Yourself
Part II – Forgiving Myself Mother
Forgiving Others is only one part of the forgiveness equation. The other part is taking enough responsibility to forgive yourself. I have to forgive myself for holding on to the hurt and allowing it to continuously widen the chasm between my mother and me.
Our story is closely related to that of many women around the world. Generational hurt (passed on like a baton in a relay race) continues to derail women from their God-inspired purpose. Awareness and willingness to do the work required is the only way to end the cycle. At the age of 74, my mother is beyond the notion of “self-help”. She is comfortable with her fixed mindset. All she has now are the memories – good or bad!
These last few weeks while not speaking to my mother, I also replayed tapes in my mind of all the offenses that I believe hurt me. Ironically, If confronted with this information, she would not know what I was talking about.
I have to forgive myself for failing to acknowledge sooner in life just how deeply she has been hurt and how it impacted her life. During yesterday’s conversation, like many others over the years, mom mentioned the hurtful moments in her past – as far back as a baby.
How can she begin to recognize or reconcile anything with me when she is still stuck on her own past hurt?
Yesterday’s conversation with mom resulted in a powerful realization. I have to forgive my mother and myself! For all the situations that I held deep within my chest over the years, I am required to once and for all confront and reframe the memories. It’s mandatory! If I don’t, then I would never be able to successfully complete my journey to purpose or coach anyone else to.