Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let ourselves be seen.”
The topic of the November TRIBE Authentic Woman Workshop held on Sunday the 18th was Authentic Voice and Values. Everyone in attendance was surveyed to determine their personal core values. It was eye-opening for me.
My highest core value according to the survey was family. This was a bit surprising. Tonight, I realize why. According to Dr. John DeMartini, author of The Values Factor, “…our values are born out of difficulties, challenges, obstacles, sorrows, or voids in life.”
I have always been rather transparent when it comes to my shortcomings or strongholds in life. On many occasions, my mother has been at the center of those conversations. Now, I realize that many of my ways of being is a direct result of the relationship (or lack thereof) with my mother.
Note: This series of posts is not intended to disparage my mother. She has a story to tell that explains her life situation and justifies her ways of being. This post is more about why I founded TRIBE Authentic Woman. It is also my way of sharing my healing process with the intention of collapsing the timeframe of someone else’s process of healing.
Back to the point that family was my number one core value. I craved it for a long time. The love of a close-knit family was something I dreamed about. Many people I know that are members of a large family seem to take it for granted. To me, it is the most awesome thing in the world. I wished for a large family and 8 years ago thanks to Facebook my wish was granted.
I located my biological father’s family on the East Coast. This was and still is a highlight of my life. The Brito family have been so warm, inviting, and loving to me. I hate that we live so many miles apart! I was compelled to find my father and unfortunately, he was no longer alive when I located them. Yet, I feel blessed beyond measure to have his older sister, Aunt Betty in my life.
Now that I have identified my personal core values, it is time to become intimately aware of how each value aligns with my walk and talk – a true measure of my authenticity. This is the first post in a series that demonstrates my healing process.
Tonight, I began reading, Daughter Detox, by Peg Streep. I learned that I am a woman who still wants her mother’s approval – people pleasing. I struggle with setting boundaries – sometimes seemingly too flexible. Since birth, I have been dismissed and disparaged by my mother – because she doesn’t know any other way to be.
My goal in sharing my healing journey is to help someone who is in a similar situation. For me, it is about surfacing unconscious patterns of thinking so I can consciously change them and live my best life authentically.