I hope your day was everything you desired!
Today, I see this pagan holiday, inspired by the myth of St. Valentine, as a reminder to slow down and practice self-love and self-care. In fact, I have adopted the attitude that taking one day to observe something is never enough. I like to observe the positive practices of Valentines, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays every day, year round. Personally, I see those special days as a reminder that another year has passed.
Practicing Self-love and Self-care
Whether or not you observe those holidays, practicing self -love is demonstrated by how you view yourself, the decisions you make, and your relationship with others. If my point is still unclear, ask yourself, do I…
- mask (hide) my true self from others?
- hyper-analyze or easily fixate on everything?
- worry about what others think of me?
- struggle to take care of my physical self?
- have an inferiority complex?
- focus on failure and am too hard on myself?
- lack confidence to follow my dreams and ambitions?
- excessively need attention?
- find it difficult to maintain relationships?
- settle for less than what I deserve most of the time?
Although this is not an official assessment, I believe that if your answer is YES to more than a few of these questions, it’s necessary and vital that you turn the lens inward and love yourself in the ways in which you expect a Valentine’s lover to love you. There is definitely more to self-love than buying yourself a box of candy and some flowers. I am speaking of authentic self-care.
I define authenticity as the alignment of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self care is about taking the necessary steps to authentically express self-love. It is action-oriented. Often, we think about what we should do, but acting upon it falls by the wayside and we stay stuck. To take action is to…
- Accept yourself ‘as is’ – stop feeling as if you changed something about yourself you will automatically arrive at some perfect or happy place in life.
- Learn to let go of that which you have absolutely no control over. Tell yourself, “I can’t control this situation, so I am going to move away from thinking about it by replacing my thoughts with something positive that I do have control over.”
- Stop assuming you know the thoughts of others. Instead, ask them what they are thinking if it is important.
- Develop realistic manageable habits of physical self-care like exercising, meditation, spa days, etc. Your exterior is important as it houses your interior.
- Be okay with failure – as long as you are failing forward, you are moving on life’s continuum and growing in the process.
- Take small actions in the direction of your dreams and ambitions. If you dream of being or doing something, give yourself permission to learn about it for starters. Don’t put the notion on a shelf. Find a way to engage with your dreams and before you know it, you have realized it.
- Practice consistently doing something kind for yourself – daily. We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
- Seek relationships that build you up, not tear you down. You know this by how you feel in the presence of others. Your Spirit will guide you along the way – pay attention to it!
If you feel in need of more support with executing these tips, you are invited to join the Authentic ME! Community and Workshop to have a safe space to unpack and process your level of self – love and care.
We know that women explore and discover so much more when they have a community to engage with. Submit your contact information at davinalyons.com to receive a personal invitation to be my guest at the next workshop.