LOVE over Hate

I still LOVE PEOPLE in general. I resist hate. My heart is heavy because of those who are lost and confused, but I cannot let hate win.

I AM focused on making a positive contribution to this world. I was created to be a light and for GOOD. Yet some have allowed their light to dim and they can no longer see their way or what is right.

I do not blame others for my plight or that of any race. I see history as a lesson and not a reason to hate.

I pray for PEACE in this world!

Love,
Davina

Sunday Sonnet!

I love this and had to share it! "Speak gently, always, to yourself and me!"

Autumn Ambles

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Speak to me gently when Life’s Light burns low
And hope of new tomorrows starts to fade,
I cannot bear to hear, ‘I told you so’,
Much less to have another me upbraid;
No need past failings, oversights recount,
Nor nourish feelings fountain of regret;
Too easily fine words concern discount,
Impeding gallant efforts to forget;
Much rather proffer understanding care,
By far more wholesome than disabling scorn,
Aware that none escape the tempter’s snare,
And all are left with misconduct to mourn!
That mortals, sans exception may feel free,
Speak gently, always, to yourself and me!

©Meanderings 2017

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Strength and Courage

The Lyons Den

On Monday, I will begin my 4th year of teaching Middle School English Language Arts at Sacaton Middle School in Sacaton Arizona in the Gila River Indian Community.  My classroom is known as The Lyons Den.  For many students, I am known as Mama Lyons.  I am honored to have this title.

Time passes unbelievably fast when you are a teacher.  I think it is because everything you do is time bound.  Nonetheless, I’m overjoyed to begin yet another year.  No matter what I do, there is nothing in comparison to the love I have for teaching.  Helping my students to learn and encouraging a growth mindset is my ultimate in satisfaction.

Yes, while it is also my purpose to educate and help transform the lives of adults (especially women), personally there is no greater reward than the privilege of sowing positively into young minds and helping to shape their futures.

As Mama Lyons, I have immense PRIDE in my students.

I have seen some amazing transformations from 7th-grade students blossoming into more mature and capable 8th-grade students.  All of the credit goes to them – I simply do my part by providing a safe academic place to flourish in a few minutes a day Monday through Friday.

I am not the only one – my colleagues do the same.  I teach alongside some dedicated and caring educators that are just as passionate as I am about giving and getting the BEST for our STUDENTS!

We all agree – 2017 is going to be a fantastic year!

Why you should always go after your dreams.

I had to share this message of encouragement to stop being afraid to pursue your dreams! Thank you Allie!

outrightallie

“Everything you want, is on the other side of fear.”
–  Jack Canfield


Sounds like Jack Canfield is a wise man! I believe he’s right. Everything you want, is in fact on the other side of fear. Everyone I know, wants something in life, even when they don’t yet exactly know what it is they want. But how easy is it to get what you want? Seems like mission impossible, doesn’t it? Because mostly, what we truly want, the things our heart desires, isn’t easy to reach. And because what we truly want, is mostly something we can only have a chance of getting as soon as you drop something else: the need to feel secure.

You see, you can plan out your whole life to make sure nothing goes wrong. You can make sure you’re always feeling secure, doing that job that you know you can do for the…

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Back to School

This week has been bitter sweet for me.  Over the summer, I really picked up momentum with the launch of my Speaking/Life Coaching business.  I have networked and met some wonderful people!  My brand is clearly defined; confident that I will succeed on my path to helping women transform their lives.

Today, I was thinking about how blessed I am.   I have a career that affords me the time to pursue my goals and purposefully achieve them.  In addition, I happen to LOVE my career as a teacher.  This part of my purpose is to serve young people (adolescents).

Although I have been physically exhausted every day after work this week, I am delighted to get ready for my students to return to school and I look forward to the year ahead!

I AM an Educator, Speaker, and Life Coach,

Davina

 

Step 5 – Forgiving Yourself

Part II – Forgiving Myself  Mother

Forgiving Others is only one part of the forgiveness equation. The other part is taking enough responsibility to forgive yourself.   I have to forgive myself for holding on to the hurt and allowing it to continuously widen the chasm between my mother and me.

Our story is closely related to that of many women around the world.  Generational hurt (passed on like a baton in a relay race) continues to derail women from their God-inspired purpose.  Awareness and willingness to do the work required is the only way to end the cycle.  At the age of 74, my mother is beyond the notion of “self-help”.  She is comfortable with her fixed mindset. All she has now are the memories – good or bad!

These last few weeks while not speaking to my mother, I also replayed tapes in my mind of all the offenses that I believe hurt me.  Ironically, If confronted with this information, she would not know what I was talking about.

I have to forgive myself for failing to acknowledge sooner in life just how deeply she has been hurt and how it impacted her life.  During yesterday’s conversation, like many others over the years, mom mentioned the hurtful moments in her past – as far back as a baby.

How can she begin to recognize or reconcile anything with me when she is still stuck on her own past hurt?

Yesterday’s conversation with mom resulted in a powerful realization.  I have to forgive my mother and myself! For all the situations that I held deep within my chest over the years, I am required to once and for all confront and reframe the memories.  It’s mandatory!  If I don’t, then I would never be able to successfully complete my journey to purpose or coach anyone else to.

Step 2 – Accept your Responsibility

Proper Perspective

Once I really understood the value in this step – it was life-changing.  I use to always see my situation or circumstances as someone else’s fault.  I believe it was my way of protecting my “victim status”.

Early in my career, I called work to inform my supervisor that I would be late because I needed to accompany a friend to the Urgent Care with her baby.  She was my bestie at the time and needed my support.

When I arrived at work, I was immediately reprimanded and documented.  I could not for the life of me figure out why.  I was in my early twenties and lacked any understanding of the proper protocol.  The only thing I could think of was “they do not like me!”

Later, when I became a supervisor for the first time, I had an instant recall when an employee did something similar.  Of course, I was able to educate and extend grace because I had been there.  It became a teachable moment as opposed to a reprimand.  Nonetheless, I took responsibility for my actions in that situation and was able to effectively get someone else to do the same by putting it in the proper perspective.

But, what about when you are truly traumatized and victimized by someone else’s actions?

Although you should not take responsibility for the violator’s actions, you must take responsibility for how you allow it to impact you.  The way you respond to victimization determines whether or not you will continue to be victimized for years to come.

Rewinding that mental tape will only traumatize you more.  If that is what you are doing, then you must take responsibility for that action.

What are you holding on to that you MUST be responsible enough to let go?

Step 1 – Face the Problem

Courage and Communication

Over the years, when I struggled with finances and owed bill collectors, I would not answer the phone when they called.  Why? I did not have money to pay the debt.  I believed that if there was no money, there would be nothing to talk about.  Bill collectors are persistent and sometimes downright rude.  This was a problem for me that I sought to avoid. Yet, I was responsible for the debt.  I failed to think about the consequences of disregarding my responsibility.

Two vital components in facing your problems are COURAGE and COMMUNICATION. It takes courage to do what you are uncomfortable doing.   You must communicate with someone to move on the continuum.  #unstuck

If it’s a marital problem – you talk it out and perhaps even get a counselor involved if it is that serious.  If there is a health issue, you must speak to the doctor or medical practitioner.  If it is an issue at work – you need to speak to your supervisor or colleague.  Whatever the case may be – effective communication is key in resolving the issue.

In more simplistic terms, talking to someone about your problems begins to unburden you.  My first conversation is usually with God.  I take responsibility for my part in prayer and ask for forgiveness and wisdom to move forward with the situation in a more positive and productive manner.

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed” James 5:16

At this point, I feel super courageous to tackle any obstacle.  I strike while the iron is hot and reach out to whomever I need to.  The beauty of it is that I have always (100%) been met with a surprisingly positive outcome.

What problems are you facing now that you lack courage in communicating?

6 Steps to Emotional Healing

If you want to know the true health of the tree, examine the roots.

 

~Davina Lyons

 

In my last blog post, I mentioned how simple hurts can be prayed about and healing quickly occurs by a shift in the mindset, but sometimes there are more complex hurts that require ACTION to resolve.

Here are 6 steps that I coach my clients through in order to heal emotionally.

  1. Face the problem
  2. Accept your responsibility
  3. Ask yourself if you really want to be healed
  4. Forgive everyone involved
  5. Forgive yourself
  6. Ask God for revelation

We will explore each of these points more in-depth in the subsequent blog posts.  Like being clear on your spirituality, healing emotionally is also essential and foundational on your Journey to Purpose™.

 

Image: Courtesy of Pixabay (quicksandala)

Healing

When children are little and they get a scrape or bruise while playing, they will often come to mommy or daddy for help to make it better.

 

“…kiss the boo-boo and make it better, please.”

Somehow, that simple act from a loving parent actually made it better.  I’m sure it was the love shown that started the healing process first in the heart which translated to the mind and the physical complied.

Well, as adults, how do we get our boo-boos kissed?

I ask God in prayer, receive it in my heart and instantly my mind is in a better state…healing starts to occur.

No, it isn’t always that simple.  Some people have it much more difficult.  Sometimes the hurt is so deep and complicated – not a simple boo-boo at all!

What if the hurt is woven with a traumatic childhood experience, poor environment, detached parents, poor teachers, disingenuous relationships and so on?  It takes time and space on the continuum of life to heal.

It takes ACTION on your part (more than just asking God in prayer).  It’s a process.

To be continued…

 

Image: Courtesy of Pixabay (taoheed_kasumu)