Knowledge and understanding
Understanding is good
And when I wake up in the morning
All I hear in my hood is people saying that they’re
Beautiful, loved, blessed…
There are not enough positive words I can say about the way I feel now. For once, I started something that I am confident I can maintain. I decided to permanently forego dairy, flour/processed products, and refined sugar. It has made a tremendous difference in how I feel thus far.
I have begun to exercise daily. My energy level has increased to the point that I am able to be much more productive. My moods don’t swing. I have a heightened sense of awareness through all of my senses; especially taste and smell. I use my inner VOICE to stay on track by reminding myself of where I want to be in life: mind, body, and spirit.
More to come…
As I read the words, “…I wish you a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and yourself today and everyday”, I suddenly felt empowered again. These last couple of weeks have been rough for me! My mother had spinal surgery on January 25th, I started the 3rd semester in my teaching internship, my son is graduating from high school soon, and the demands of 2nd year teaching middle school – all is closing in on me. I am feeling overwhelmed at best and now realize how much is truly on my plate. Speaking of plate, I am fighting hard to resist my need to feed at all times.
I have not shared this before, but I realize that I have a binge eating disorder (BED). Especially when feeling the stress of all that I have to do. So I guess, I am coming out and admitting something that I have not in the past. I am reblogging this Tangerine Wallpaper post because it made me feel better in an instant.
I did not know it was Love Your Body Month – but I like it! I will observe body positivity, self-acceptance, and eating disorder awareness this month passionately!
I worked today – actually on my feet more than usual due to standardized testing. You have to walk around and monitor the students while they are testing.
For some reason, all day I thought about going to the gym. My friend bought me a special membership as a gift this past Christmas. I have haphazardly utilized it. I went a few times right after the holiday season and found it physically challenging. So, I did not go back.
Today, I yearned to go to the gym. I knew it wouldn’t be challenging for me anymore. Instinctively, I knew I was in a better place physically now that I am eating clean. I was right! Thirty minutes on the treadmill was not difficult at all. I can do it again and again.
It is urgent that I start moving my body (especially reducing my level of body fat). I want my skin to be firm so I believe exercise is required. The workout was awesome and I plan to repeat it consistently from this point forward.
I am transforming my body…stay tuned!
This time is different. I don’t care how much I weigh or how much weight I have lost. I know the adipose tissue (fat) is disappearing from my body and that is all that matters. I am transforming and that is the goal. To become someone new, closer to what I was created to be, on the inside and out.
It’s funny because my mind is overactive these days as I process my old habits against my current behaviors. It is amazing how happy I am. There is peace and my inner spirit’s pleased. I can physically do more…simple things like bend down without pain and no more heavy breathing. I enjoy a good night’s sleep and consistently awake feeling fresh. I properly cut waste from my body daily and have no bowel issues. It’s because I am eating the right foods. I am more physical. My mind is set! I decided to live and not slowly die.
I walked to the store to buy my healthy food instead of jumping in the car. In fact, I love walking!
I do not plan on weighing on a scale. It will take my focus away from what matters most – my health and how I FEEL. That is my barometer. To be intentional about my focus is what is different from the past. To be present and accounted for in my self healing – not concerned with what others think. I am not longer drawn to the dark side of living by longing for those things that are not good for me.
I believe the pain of my past is finally no longer affecting me. It was excavated and given a proper burial. I am released. I see clearer without dingy filters and I hear the positives versus the negatives spoken to me. I am able to love people – even the ones others find tough to love.
My goal with blogging is to show my transformation – that is all. I am a light for someone else struggling with food addition, among many other things conquered in my life.
This time is a big deal!
My overwhelming desire to transform my life is stronger than ever now.
As I think about why I desire to change my life, I realize that it is my innate desire to improve or be better. I believe the process of transforming is really synonomous with living your life. I believe that some people do this passively, while others go through life anticipating every moment with zeal. I am the latter. I could never just sit and coast through life. I need a project or something to always be in existence for me to feel alive. I have been this way since I was a small child. When I reflect upon the patterns in my life, I know I have always been a ‘busy with activity’ person. I actually feed off of having something going on in my life at all times.
I realize that just being busy and having a lot of “stuff” going on in my life is no longer enough. Now, I need RESULTS to place on my mantle. I need accomplishment. This ties back to my previous posts about finishing what I start.
Here is what I am considering about me in my effort to be more results oriented (random thoughts in no specific order of priority):
- It takes 21 days to create a habit.
- I hate paper, because it creates unnecessary clutter.
- I am best early in the morning as opposed to the evening after a long workday.
- I hate time clocks, schedules, and structure period.
- I love food!
- I talk alot on the phone (not always a productive activity).
- My husband and I are complete personality opposites (which is cool).
- My son is a momma’s boy for sure (which is also cool).
- I don’t like the notion of credit, because paying it back later is inconvenient.
- I am obsessed with buying purses and books (hard/soft back or ebooks – doesn’t matter).
- I love people watching. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are and what their life is like from a distance.
- I appreciate funky eclectic styles as opposed to matching and modern.
- I love to get to know people for who they truly are and not the surface stuff they want you to see.
- I am communal most times, but like my private quiet time too.
- My faith in God is strong.
- I believe messages come from God on billboards, words of friends, radio stations and every form of communication that the mind can perceive.
- Communication in general is super important to me. I often share my thoughts to get reactions from others.
- Exercise is a chore for me.
- Through my thoughts, I often challenge myself to be and do better.
- I can be judging, overbearing, and animated at times – something I have often self-corrected over the years – so much better now!!!.
- The thoughts keep coming….
Well, this is a good enough list to get started with. I want to start my tackling the first bullet point. For the next 21 days, starting today, I will work to create some positive habits that address some of the other bullet points. For instance, I am working on my health, and time management. For the next 21 days, I will be tracking my actions and interactions that relate to my health and how I balance my time.
This is all in my plan to CREATE AN AMAZING LIFE!
I am so pleased with how far I have come in my quest to CREATE AN AMAZING BODY!
I am no longer dreading going to the gym, and today with the help of my trainer, my muscles went to a place they had never been. The exercises I had to do were challenging, but I loved feeling the burn. It is amazing! I was very apprehensive about getting started on the weights. This past Friday, I began working with my trainer.
She started me slow and focused on my legs to start. Well, that is the strongest part of my body. I thought it was a cake walk. I even asked her to increase the weight on a couple of the machines.
Today, we focused on my arms and core. A whole different game. I felt tingly all over my body and definitely knew this was going to be an experience that my body will remind me of tomorrow morning when I try to get out of bed. Soreness is coming!
I have eliminated 18 lbs. from my body, but my goal is to lose a total of 100lbs. I believe that if I maintain what I am doing, not only will I be successful in this endeavor, but I will reduce my body fat percentage and increase my lean muscle, which means my body will be looking pretty good.
What a significant accomplishment it will be to transform my body and improve my health. Stay tuned…
We must define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us.”
~Edward Lewis,publisher at Essence Magazine
The last few days have been extremely revealing to me. I have always been one who would self-reflect and self-correct. Self-development may mean many things to others, but to me it is simply GROWTH. As I age and mature, I realize that my growth is dependant upon how I choose to handle experiences: good and bad. Since I desire to CREATE AN AMAZING LIFE, I am open to many different experiences and what I call the ‘pain to gain expressway’.
On Monday, I was on the eliptical in the gym listening to music with my Skullcandy headphones on. I was feeling good. As each song played, I sped up or slowed down to the beat of the music. My personal playlist became my guide. I closed my eyes and I was in a club on the dance floor all alone. It was an amazing experience. I am such a visionary that everything I do and experience is played out mentally on a ‘big screen’ in my mind. It was so much fun!
I danced and danced for 40 minutes on that machine.
Stay down – Mary J Blige ~ Until You come Back to Me – Aretha Franklin ~ I Wanna Be Down, What About Us, Full Moon, Have You Ever – Brandy ~ I’ll Be There, I Still Believe – Mariah Carey ~ and so on…
At the end of that workout, I had a revelation. Although I was winded, and looked like a sweaty wet freak, I was happy that I was able to morph the experience into something enjoyable and persevere. I got it – total clarity! Now, I know what to do and how to overcome that aspect of my workout. It just keeps getting better as I allow myself to be free and embrace this aspect of transforming my self.
How do you take yourself to the next level during difficult times? How does your past define you now? Any revelations?
Today, my confidence is at an all time high!
I am wearing leggings and a short dress. I have already been told a few times that I am looking cute today. Why is this significant? Well, it’s my first time in my adult life wearing them in public. You see, for years, I have been of the opinion, “…just because it stretches, doesn’t mean it has to”.
So far, this week I have made it to the gym daily and feeling very comfortable in my clothes. I am able to once again wear some of my old outfits and items that I bought but was afraid to wear.
I am adjusting to a new mindset when it comes to my self-image. Often I have seen women who I believe were too overweight to wear certain outfits, yet they do it with confidence. This always perplexed me. Over time, I learned to admire their self -esteem to pull it off. Now, I realize that it was my own self-image that distorted my view. Because I lacked the courage and confidence, I wanted others to do the same (subconsciously of course).
Low self-esteem and a distorted view of self can be so destructive in ones life. It impacts your family, relationships, career, and overall happiness.
As I continue to CREATE AN AMAZING LIFE for myself, I am much more aware of this. I am enjoying my day in leggings and look forward to boldly going in fashion where I haven’t gone before! What about you?
Improved weight and blood pressure!
On 4/3/13 – I awoke with chest tightness and shortness of breath. For the first time, I was afraid. That is the moment I promised myself that I would transform my health. On 4/24/13 – Experienced sharp side pain that reinforced I must improve my health!
High blood pressure, sleep apnea, obesity, thyroid issues, and so on and so on…
As you know, I joined the gym and I began to eat clean.
Today, my doctor was pleased that I have eliminated 15 pounds from my body and my blood pressure was PERFECT!
As I continue to treat my body well all other issues will also be eliminated! This is wonderful news.
I told you that I was well on my way to CREATING AN AMAZING BODY AND LIFE!
Last week I came to the gym 2 out of 5 days. I justified it because I was facilitating training on my day job. I am a Training Specialist at a college. I need to come in earlier on the days I facilitate. This threw my schedule off and impacted my momentum.
Yesterday, I returned after being away for 4 days. It was tough! I was dragging and felt like I was starting over. I hated that feeling. I worked hard and was so proud of myself for my first week’s achievement. Lesson learned!
Today, day 2 of week 3, I am determined to get back on track to CREATING AN AMAZING BODY.
Momentum must be maintained. Now I know why people often say as parting words when you share how good you are doing, “keep it up”. It’s tough for some of us to keep it up, but it’s a requirement!