When I hear the story of how my father “chin-checked” my step-father over spanking me when I was 3 years old, I feel special. I feel like a “daddy’s girl” – even today as a woman in my fifties.
Every year I think about the time I lost with my father. Would he be proud of who I am today. How much am I like him? Would we get along?
If my relationship with my two brothers is any indication – I would most likely be s daddy’s girl. My brothers treat me like their queen.
My father was shot and killed in 1977 at the age of 39. I was 12 years old and had moved away from Connecticut the year prior. I didn’t know until 2009.
This post is for anyone who has a tough time celebrating Father’s Day because of undesired separation or their biological father is unknown.
I understand…you are in my prayers.
My last post was on Monday, May 8th. I was in a good place mentally and physically. As the week progressed things changed. This was truly a week that I will never forget.
On Saturday, May 13th, my beloved Aunt Joyce passed away in North Carolina. Initially, I cried inconsolably. At this point, I felt as if nothing else mattered. In an effort to practice what I’ve preached, I worked hard to pull it together. She was my mother’s oldest and only sister. My mother talked to her daily. They were finally growing closer than ever after years of reconciling their childhood issues (more mom than Aunt Joyce).
Every moment mattered as I reminisced about the many fruitful conversations over the years with my Aunt. She never failed to express her pride in all of my achievements. She often told me there was nothing I couldn’t do if I set my mind to it. I was like her daughter. All the things I wanted to hear my mother say – Aunt Joyce said it. She was an educator who was proud of me for changing careers and becoming a teacher.
I really love my Aunt and can’t believe she is gone…
ACEs Question #6
Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
During my first year teaching, I facilitated a discussion to get to know my students.
One of my students blurted out, “My parents are getting a divorce!”
In that moment, I did not know what to say to make it better for that young person who was obviously preoccupied with the pending event which was about to impact his family system. This was also prior to me understanding ACEs and the potential lifetime impact it would have on him.
I simply knew that my student was hurting. It was one of my first emotional experiences as a teacher. I realized that there is more to my role than academics. My heart ached because I knew that student only cared about his mom and dad staying together – not what I was about to teach.
My biological father was never in my life. As I mentioned in another post, my mother married my first stepfather when I was 6 months old. Their relationship would be classified as horrible by anyone’s standards. He was abusive. They both drank alcohol almost daily. He was gone every weekend carousing with women, but home Sunday night to prepare for the work week.
They divorced when I was in the 6th grade. Finally, she had enough. It took courage and a chunk of her soul to walk away from that relationship. When I think about this – the divorce wasn’t nearly as traumatic for me as the years of their marriage. Perhaps it was a blessing, until stepfather #2 came along.
The answer to question #6 is YES.
It’s interesting how over TIME people bend the TRUTH.
This morning I received a phone call from my mother that turned into quite unpleasant dialog.
She remembers a situation one way and I have a completely different recollection.
I love my mother; however, I do not always get along with her.
Admittedly, it has been tough being her only child; because I have no one to share her with (smile).
“Appreciate your mother!”
“You will miss her when she is gone.”
“You only have one mother.”
“She’s not happy.”
“It’s tough getting older.”
“Her mother wasn’t there for her.”
“How can she show love when she did not receive it.”
I get it. However, I am not calling her again for a long time!
My inner spirit does not do well in the land of NEGATIVITY!
Besides – I am a Mother too! How else do I stop the cycle? Huh?! Any suggestions? Seriously…?
My son’s high school graduation cap and gown arrived today.
It just got real.
Need pictures and invitations – deadline fast approaching!
I’m not sure how to feel.
He’s getting older – I’m getting older.
I’m finishing my 3rd semester as a teaching intern.
It’s been rough
Brain-based Learning is a blast.
Phonics and syllabication is tough!
As always, I’ll make it happen – for my students.
Therefore, I need to get back to work🦁.