In an era of “fake news” and hashtag “MeToo”, who really knows what it means to be authentic?
I decided to become a scholar of “authenticity”. In the past year, I have studied the social and political environment in this country. It is apparent that there is a serious lack of authenticity for many different reasons.
Since looking outward is frivolous without looking inward (my opinion), I took into account my own level of authenticity. The revelation was astounding!
This begins a new chapter in my life as an educator, speaker, coach, and consultant. Once I personalized the essential question about the meaning of authenticity, my worldview changed exponentially. My VOICE became stronger! I gained unparalleled CLARITY and CONFIDENCE.
This post is the first in a series I will be blogging about intended to help women authentically redefine their lives – opening up doors and windows to breathe fresh air as I have done!
Yes, I could share my answer now, but I authentically want you to stay tuned into my blog posts and traverse this journey with me. I welcome you to answer this essential question and share it with others.
Peace and blessings,
As you begin to awaken from within, the beauty of who you truly are begins to radiate outward. More often friends will recognize and call out your glow.
I have always been extremely open and flexible when it comes to change. It’s because I see change as a good thing. I see it as growth and a requirement for all living things.
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin
My awakening is allowing me to blossom in unimaginable ways. I awake daily with fresh perspective and an insatiable desire to help others awaken to their truth in living, not merely existing.
Peace and blessings!
This morning, during meditation, I had to check my faith. Do my actions align with my faith? Do I make decisions based on my faith?
What YOU believe and whom YOU believe in may be personal but it’s pivotal on your JOURNEY to PURPOSE.
Today, I will consciously and intentionally walk according to my FAITH!
I wanted to be a cheerleader, but that wasn’t in my life plan nor a good physical fit for me. For a moment I was disappointed. I quickly realized that what I had to offer was still a possibility. So I created a Pep Club to support the cheerleaders and school community.
I researched what it would take to create a club and went for it! I made daily public announcements, hosted a kickoff meeting, had t-shirts silk screened, and officially launched the club. This was 40 years ago in 1977.
I realize today – that life pattern hasn’t changed for me. Last year, as a teacher, I launched a drama club at my Middle School because I saw the need.
I see a gap – I fill it unapologetically! Over the years, this has served me well.
I still LOVE PEOPLE in general. I resist hate. My heart is heavy because of those who are lost and confused, but I cannot let hate win.
I AM focused on making a positive contribution to this world. I was created to be a light and for GOOD. Yet some have allowed their light to dim and they can no longer see their way or what is right.
I do not blame others for my plight or that of any race. I see history as a lesson and not a reason to hate.
I pray for PEACE in this world!
Part II – Forgiving Myself Mother
Forgiving Others is only one part of the forgiveness equation. The other part is taking enough responsibility to forgive yourself. I have to forgive myself for holding on to the hurt and allowing it to continuously widen the chasm between my mother and me.
Our story is closely related to that of many women around the world. Generational hurt (passed on like a baton in a relay race) continues to derail women from their God-inspired purpose. Awareness and willingness to do the work required is the only way to end the cycle. At the age of 74, my mother is beyond the notion of “self-help”. She is comfortable with her fixed mindset. All she has now are the memories – good or bad!
These last few weeks while not speaking to my mother, I also replayed tapes in my mind of all the offenses that I believe hurt me. Ironically, If confronted with this information, she would not know what I was talking about.
I have to forgive myself for failing to acknowledge sooner in life just how deeply she has been hurt and how it impacted her life. During yesterday’s conversation, like many others over the years, mom mentioned the hurtful moments in her past – as far back as a baby.
How can she begin to recognize or reconcile anything with me when she is still stuck on her own past hurt?
Yesterday’s conversation with mom resulted in a powerful realization. I have to forgive my mother and myself! For all the situations that I held deep within my chest over the years, I am required to once and for all confront and reframe the memories. It’s mandatory! If I don’t, then I would never be able to successfully complete my journey to purpose or coach anyone else to.
If you want to know the true health of the tree, examine the roots.
In my last blog post, I mentioned how simple hurts can be prayed about and healing quickly occurs by a shift in the mindset, but sometimes there are more complex hurts that require ACTION to resolve.
Here are 6 steps that I coach my clients through in order to heal emotionally.
- Face the problem
- Accept your responsibility
- Ask yourself if you really want to be healed
- Forgive everyone involved
- Forgive yourself
- Ask God for revelation
We will explore each of these points more in-depth in the subsequent blog posts. Like being clear on your spirituality, healing emotionally is also essential and foundational on your Journey to Purpose™.
Image: Courtesy of Pixabay (quicksandala)
When children are little and they get a scrape or bruise while playing, they will often come to mommy or daddy for help to make it better.
“…kiss the boo-boo and make it better, please.”
Somehow, that simple act from a loving parent actually made it better. I’m sure it was the love shown that started the healing process first in the heart which translated to the mind and the physical complied.
Well, as adults, how do we get our boo-boos kissed?
I ask God in prayer, receive it in my heart and instantly my mind is in a better state…healing starts to occur.
No, it isn’t always that simple. Some people have it much more difficult. Sometimes the hurt is so deep and complicated – not a simple boo-boo at all!
What if the hurt is woven with a traumatic childhood experience, poor environment, detached parents, poor teachers, disingenuous relationships and so on? It takes time and space on the continuum of life to heal.
It takes ACTION on your part (more than just asking God in prayer). It’s a process.
To be continued…
Image: Courtesy of Pixabay (taoheed_kasumu)
After you have faced the problem, accepted responsibility, determined you really want healing in the situation, forgiven the offender and yourself – now what?
The final step to this process is seeking Divine wisdom. This seals the deal for me. Simply stated, I pray about it. Then I listen for a response. The essential question is: How do I move forward?
In the situation with my mother, I took the first step, she took the next step. We communicated and all seems to be well. For me, I needed to know how to proceed and not get hurt again (by her words or deeds). If I have sincerely forgiven her and myself – the slate is wiped clean. This means there is no negative emotion behind anything related to her.
I prayed about my next steps with my mother yesterday after our long conversation. The answer I received in my Spirit was – LOVE HER!
So, I know how important it is to communicate with her daily. She is lonely and loves to share her views about the news, politics, the past, etc. I call her on the way to work early in the morning and she is ready to talk.
There are two ways to look at this: I could be nice to her while anticipating there will be another offense; or, I could show her I genuinely care by staying in constant contact to help cure her loneliness. This means not taking what she says or does personally – but considering who she is and what she has been through to get her to this point in life. The first way shows a lack of faith and the second way says I am intentional about both mine and my mother’s happiness.
I choose the latter…